Atheistjustin is Dead

Well, not really. But, sort of.

So no, I wasn’t murdered or hit by a truck. The same guy who started this site is the one typing these words right now. But, Atheistjustin is no longer with us.

When I was 11, I was agnostic. I was an atheist without balls. Then, at around 13, I started watching George Carlin and after a few biology and physics lessons in school, I became pretty certain that the whole “God” thing was bullshit.

So, I was the first person I knew at 13 to be pretty bent on not believing in a higher power. Which, I thought was pretty sweet since the other 13 year olds in my school had no idea what a Genesis was or how unlikely it was that anybody is watching us.

I was totally the popular kid.

But, long story short, with this newfound aspect of my person, I thought I had something that separated me from the crowd.

So when Playstation Network made me choose a user name, I went with JustintheAtheist.

A few years later, Twitter became a thing and wouldn’t allow me enough characters to use that as my username. So, I had to compromise and Atheistjustin was born.

It’s been almost 7 years since then and all my social media, blogs, etc. have been under the moniker ‘Atheistjustin.’ Some broads at Rutgers would even refer to me as ‘atheist’ (shoutout 2 Jules).

But, as I’ve decided to take on this Comedy thing seriously, I’ve realized that such a stage name would only keep me down. I mean, imagine trying to tour the south with the stage name Atheistjustin. I can’t imagine that Jeremiah and Keith are going to want to go out with their dates (cousins) and see a guy who goes by ‘Atheistjustin.’

Plus, it kind of got awkward to say when a 40-something year old would ask, ‘you’re a comedian? What’s your name?” and then I’d have to look them in the eyes and say ‘Atheistjustin,’ hoping they wouldn’t be some radical Catholic extremist.

So, Atheistjustin is dead and in his place is J. Cassidy.

I will say though, even though my name changed and I will no longer be going by that name, I do own the domain name ‘atheistjustin’ so I won’t be changing this site.

I may have looked into it already, and even though there isn’t a, for whatever reason WordPress won’t let me do my thing. And I think it’s gonna be another absurd amount of money to try and buy another domain name, switch it, and then eat my own ass.

So, that being said, I am now J. Cassidy, which is a much cleaner, more handsome name. J. Cassidy is someone I’d kiss on the mouth. Wouldn’t you? Dad?

Just kidding my dad isn’t Tom Brady.

Moving out to Brooklyn in like 2 weeks and I’m immensely excited, horny, and nervous. But all in a good way.

I will leave you all now with a picture of

Published by J. Cassidy Hawthorne

Writer. Former stand-up. Sommelier.

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