Why the Game of Thrones Ending was Actually Good and All of You are Just Fucking Stupid

So I know that usually when I make a post with a title this long, it usually is a farce and I just write a sentence that says the exact opposite.

But, as someone who feels very passionately about this, I actually just want to come at all the h8ters that don’t get it. Sit down, and have a read at the words I believe. Also, if you’re not aware, there’s going to be some spoilers in this.

scion-custom-spoiler

Here’s the first spoiler. It’s on a Scion. Who the fuck drives Scions? Koreans.

Anyway, first let’s address my favorite criticism:

  1. “wHy Was jOn SnOw eVEn a TaRGAreyaN?”

You fucking idiots. YOU THINK JON SNOW BEING A TARGARYEN, OR HOWEVER YOU SPELL IT, WAS COMPLETELY UNIMPORTANT AT THE ENDING??

How about the fact that Drogon didn’t just LIGHT HIS ASS UP?! Drogon murks everything he wants: people, horses, naval fleets, chairs, whatever! You know why he didn’t just yeet Jon after seeing Danny lying there bleeding to death? Because HE was a Targaryen.

I don’t know if its the Force or Hindu Karma energy, but dragons can tell when their own blood is around. That’s why Jon was able to fly the other dragon- WHICH BY THE WAY IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY THE NORTH SURVIVED THE FUCKING ATTACK FROM THE WHITE WALKERS.

And let’s not forget, His being a Targ also drove Danny into Madness. She lost her advisors, her friends, and now even the bomb dick she was getting isn’t with her anymore, because it turns out that they’re related.

I get it though- people are upset that Jon’s familial heritage didn’t result in his sitting on the Iron Throne.

Which leads to the second criticism:

2. Why did Jon Snow just dip and head to the north?

It’s like- have you been watching the show? Have you? Jon doesn’t care about titles or about power. He just wants whats right. When he was a young 17 year old lad at the beginning of the show, he CHOSE to leave society and the chase for power, for women, or for money and wanted to just roam in the North.

It’s what he truly always wanted: from making allies with the Wildlings, finding his first love Ingrid, and being best buds with Tormund and his Giant’s Titty milk drinking ways.

It’s the best end for him and if you think otherwise, you’re a stupid bitch.

3. Why did Arya decided to become Christopher Columbus?

What else was she gonna do? The known world is at peace and not in need of shadow assassins; plus let’s not forget that her list is finished and nothing is left for her in this current world.

And as for sticking around with Gendry and becoming a lady? We always knew that life wasn’t for Arya- as early as Season 1 when Ned sat her down and Arya looked up and said, “that bitchass life knitting and shit AIN’T for me homie. I’m finna fuck around and murk some people.” Beautiful writing from George R. R. Martin.

4. Bran is the king????

Yeah! Yeah he IS the king. Why does that make sense? Maybe because he literally knows everything that’s ever happened from the beginning of time? Hey here’s an idea: when a king has a question about “what should I do in this situation,” wouldn’t it be amazing if they could literally go back in time to when someone had the same issue and see how they handled it?

Like, wouldn’t it be great if Donald Trump could read? It would be. It would be so awesome if our president picked up a book or could form thoughtful sentences. Wouldn’t it be even MORE awesome if he could make educated, informed decisions based off the experiences of others? That’s why Bran is a perfect King.

He also had a similar sincerity as Jon, in that he originally really had no intention of seeking the Throne. He just wanted to stop the White Walkers and save humanity.

At the end, when Bran says ‘why do you think I came all this way,’ he’s not saying he came this far because he was vying for power and the title of King. He came all this way because he knows that he is the best choice for King.

Let’s also not forget that now because we’re throwing away the old system of family lineage and houses, Jon has no claim to the throne and isn’t as qualified to lead the kingdoms as someone who has no working legs and can see into the past or control animals with his brain.

Honestly, I liked the season. I liked the ending, I liked the show, I don’t like you, you whiney little millennial that wants everything to work out the way YOU want it to. You can go fuck yourself and cry into your participation trophy collection.

I leave you all now with one last spoiler:

 

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Published by J. Cassidy Hawthorne

Writer. Former stand-up. Sommelier.

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