Atheistjustin is Upset About the Yodeling Walmart Boy

I’m gonna get topical in this bitch.

Listen, listen. I don’t have a problem with most memes. I’m an avid meme fan. My highest aspiration in life is to actually become a meme that lasts a month and then drifts into the vast nothingness of the internet like: Gratatata guy, Shovel Girl, Black Kid who danced well (the one with glasses who at the end makes a rifle motion), LilTerio, and Guy who smiles and looks like he’s in agony.

But, there is a new meme that is really getting under my nerves to the point I felt like it was necessary to write a blogpost about it.

This little fucker screen_shot_2018-04-02_at_11-02-11_am


I have no problem with this sweet little child. I mean, when you were 10, didn’t you go around to public places with your 60-year old (mother? guardian? what’s going on here?) singing Hank Williams?

We all did that. And it’s no surprise that the internet gravitated towards this totally normal past-time.

There’s 2 things that mainly bother me about this Meme. First off, he’s not fucking yodeling. Yodeling is the act of actually belting out the word ‘yodel.’

He’s not fucking yodeling, he’s singing Hank Williams. Who’s Hank Williams? He’s dead. So don’t worry about him.

So, to start with, his name as a meme is completely wrong and its society’s fault that we are unable to adequately and accurately describe people based on the ridiculous and ostentatious thing they’re doing. He’s Hank Williamsing, not Yodeling.

The reason why he was so interesting and so funny in the first place is because it was so odd, awkward, confusing, and typical. Like, you’re somewhere in Midwest America and there’s a small child singing Hank Williams in a Wal-Mart? That sounds about right.

I can’t believe someone even video-taped this. I would have sworn that it was just a casual Tuesday evening. And more than anywhere else, this should have just ended up on some people-of-Walmart-page.

But it was funny because this weird kid was doing something weird in weirdsville USA. And instead of this just becoming something that appealed to a few people, it somehow appealed to everyone.

And now here’s the 2nd thing that bothers me about this meme:

It’s a 10 year old child.

It’s a smol human boy. We’re taking this little kid and putting him in front of an audience of MILLIONS of people: I mean the fucking kid was on Ellen???? Then he met a host of other celebrities and is doing all this other nonsense.

They brought him out at fucking COACHELLA.

When I was 7 years old, I performed ‘Help!’ for my camp’s talent show. There were maybe 80 people in the crowd and I was a little overwhelmed. Could you fucking imagine being 10 years old with a crowd of 50,000 people all screaming when you go ‘All I wanna dOOooooOooOO, is go and sit inSIIIIIiiiIIIiidde,’ ?

Like, dude. That cannot be good for your tiny, developing grade. He’s in fucking 4th grade.

You know what I did in 4th grade? I threw a desk at a teacher, cause I was a fucked up kid. I was going through a difficult childhood, felt alienated from my classmates, didn’t have a typical family-life at home. and I didn’t have a lot of friends.

Do you think this kid is going to have it any better than I did? His parents look like they’re related and his little face and voice are on every mobile device in America.

Might be a little stressful.

And the sad thing is he’ll probably drift away into the background of the internet: a thought that fades away into the distance and will resurge again in 10 years after something horrible happens to him or with him or about him.

And that’s the way society has worked lately: Trump does something retarded, the earth’s climate does something concerning, businesses and technologies continue to take over the world, but then all we do as people is focus on one little inconspicuous little piece of bullshit: like what the Kardashians are doing, or what this little 10 year old boy is singing- and we let everything else just keep going on unchecked.

Damn this post got pretty fucking heavy for a few words about a boy in Walmart.

But, I don’t know. I haven’t posted in a while because I’ve been too busy being a senior in college trying to get my life figured out and avoiding my responsibilities with Call of Duty (fuck Fortnite).

So I will leave you all now with a picture of Hank Williams.





Published by J. Cassidy Hawthorne

Writer. Former stand-up. Sommelier.

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